I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Can I color on your dick again?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Randomize
