if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Randomize
