We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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