Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
