i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
