Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
I'm both gender and math confused
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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