Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
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