College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
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