her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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