how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
barbara walters just said penis...
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
