why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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