When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize
