Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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