when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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