M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Randomize
