My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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