I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
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