I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
Randomize
