So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
vagina is talking i cant
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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