i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Randomize
