just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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