When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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