idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
