just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
