the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
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