did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I need to wash the frat house off of me
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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