How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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