I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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