At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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