garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Randomize
