I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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