My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
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After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
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GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do