from now on my penis is your penis
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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