Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
