dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
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