i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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