so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
Randomize
