I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
