My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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