So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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