I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
