i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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