You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
