Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
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