All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
then he tried to convert me to islam
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
