If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize