My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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