maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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