Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
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