Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
