dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
