69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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