It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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