so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
