Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
