Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
