dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
