The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
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