The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
NoShamevember. You game?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
