we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
