He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
Randomize
